


Midwinter's Eve

by Tedronai



Series: The End of an Age [1]
Category: Wheel of Time - Robert Jordan
Genre: Age of Legends, Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-12
Updated: 2013-12-12
Packaged: 2018-01-04 11:43:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tedronai/pseuds/Tedronai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Lews is not the most perceptive person around, Elan is not a people person, and Barid is still a decent person. Student life in the Age of Legends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Midwinter's Eve

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ann_arien](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ann_arien/gifts).



> Dedicated to Ann_arien, whom I pretty much blame/thank for the inspiration for this fic;  
>  _"How about making December the Hug Elan Month? Surely he'd be even more depressed around the holidays… So, bring out all of the hugs and don't be stingy."_  
> ...That's a dangerous thing to say to a hug-starved writer, honey. x)

A herd of young men and women were gathered around the bulletin board; the results for the autumn semester’s finals were up and everybody wanted to see theirs. A tall young man stood in the center of it all, effectively blocking a lot of other people from getting anywhere near the board. “Ha!” Lews Therin bellowed triumphantly and swung his head to look back at Elan, who was waiting patiently some distance away from the group. “You know I hate to say _I told you so_ , but…” He finished with a grin that said he was not sorry in the least.

“Yes, Lews, we all know exactly how much you hate being right,” Elan replied, just loud enough to be heard over the din of everyone talking at once. If the sarcasm got lost along the way, so much the better; Elan didn’t actually want to anger his friend even if he did deserve to be brought down a peg or two every now and then.

“Don’t we just…” another voice muttered. Elan glanced at Barid, who had pushed his way out of the group now centered around Lews. The dark-eyed young man looked like he wanted to storm off in anger but was held back by the knowledge that nobody would notice, anyway, let alone come after him.

“Barid.” Elan nodded his greeting. “For anyone else, your grades would be a reason for congratulations… Yet I get the feeling you might punch me if I tried. So. Will you accept my commiserations?”

Barid scowled, but then seemed to decide that Elan wasn’t being sarcastic this time and the fight went out of him. “I was sure I had him beat this time,” he muttered. “I was so… so _bloody_ certain, and there he is…” He made a vague gesture towards Lews, talking and laughing loudly, basking in the figurative spotlight. “One point. He scored one point higher.”

Elan nodded slowly. “You do realise, though, that your scores are nothing short of remarkable—”

“Easy for you to say,” Barid said, cutting him off. “You were the best of your year. You didn’t have to compete with mister Therin ‘Just Bloody Hand Me My Third Name Already’—”

“As I was saying, Barid,” Elan interrupted him in turn, raising his voice slightly. “If you weren’t too busy feeling sorry for yourself to let me finish. I was the best of my year, yes, but if you looked at the actual scores, your overall score topped mine by two points.”

Barid opened his mouth to argue, then seemed to realise what Elan had actually said and closed it again. Then, after a moment of almost visible brainwork, he spoke again. “…Really?”

Elan arched an eyebrow. “Why would I possibly lie about it?” he asked. “To make you feel better? Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Right, thanks for the consideration,” Barid said wryly, but Elan could see a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

And the storm was averted for now, just in time for then Lews Therin finally extricated himself from the group and headed towards his friends. With a wide grin, Lews clapped Barid on the shoulder and attempted to do the same to Elan, who casually sidestepped away and thus avoided the breaching of his personal space. Lews took it in stride, in a too good mood to be offended. “Lunch at the Blue Fox? My treat. We must celebrate!”

 

Later in the afternoon they were walking aimlessly around the deserted campus. It was snowing, which kept the place mostly empty, and half the students were already off visiting their families for the Midwinter holidays. Elan liked snow, even though he didn’t participate in the mostly friendly sort of snow fight Lews and Barid managed to get engaged in while walking through the campus park. He just watched, digging his hands deep into his pockets - he appeared to have lost his gloves somewhere. The coat was barely warm enough, too; he was fairly sure he had an actual winter coat somewhere, but the exact location of said item of clothing eluded him.

“Hey, how about we head back to the dorms,” Lews suggested after a while. “I’ve got wine in my room. We can stop by on the way and buy more, round up Tel and— No, wait, he’s gone home for the holidays. Well, Eval should be around, and Mierin, I’m sure I saw Mierin earlier, and Joar. What say you guys?”

On days like this it was easy to see why Lews Therin was as popular as he was; he was fun and intelligent and generous nearly to a fault, and as long as the subject of grades wasn’t broached again, even Barid got completely caught up in the whirlwind of Lews’ magnetic personality. Lews was like the sun - shining as brightly, and completely as uncaring of whether anyone nearby would actually have preferred a moment of shade. And all of a sudden Elan had had enough of the sun for the time being.

“You guys go ahead,” he said quickly. “I forgot my gloves at the Blue Fox. I’ll just run back and catch up with you guys… Okay?” He finished in a slightly breathless rush and turned to go without waiting for an answer.

He thought he heard someone calling out after him - he thought it was Barid although he wasn’t sure - but he didn’t stop. Sometimes - completely out of the blue, for absolutely no reason that he could fathom - he just had to get away from people, their prying eyes and grating voices, no matter how well-meaning. It was like someone turned a switch in his brain and suddenly being around people just simply wasn’t an option. He didn’t quite run away - but he walked fast.

His path took him out of the campus area and back into the city proper. That was a mistake - the streets here weren’t deserted, in fact it seemed like the whole city was doing last minute shopping for the holidays. _Elan, you flaming idiot_ , he thought to himself, or perhaps he said it out loud because several people gave him mildly curious looks before hurrying by. It took all of his willpower to not physically flinch back from the looks. _Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot._ The word pounded in his head like a mantra as he hunched his shoulders and bowed his head and pressed on through the crowds.

Just when he thought he was never going to make it out of the crowd he found himself suddenly alone again. He had reached one of the city’s many parks. Grateful to leave the chaotic streets behind, he ventured into the dark, deserted park. Wading in almost knee-deep snow was nowhere near as exhausting as walking through the sea of strangers with their blurred faces and booming voices. He found a bench and cleared the snow from it with a simple weave of Air and Water, and sat down. Only then did he allow himself to acknowledge that he was shaking all over.

“Bloody ashes,” he muttered. What was wrong with him? People didn’t just randomly quit functioning like this. _They just didn’t_. He was flawed somehow, and if anyone ever found out that Elan Morin could be reduced to a hysterical wreck like this for no reason, he’d—

 

“Elan?”

 _…Bloody ashes._ The thought lacked any real heat; all of a sudden he just wanted to lie down and sleep for a year. Or ten. Or three thousand. Preferably until the end of all Creation. Failing that, at least until Barid went away again.

“Elan?” Barid repeated. “You okay, man?”

“I’m—” Elan started, but his voice cracked. Trying again seemed like too much effort. What was he going to say, anyway? Saying ‘ _No, I’m not okay_ ’ was just never going to happen, but he wasn’t going to insult Barid’s intellect by trying to claim to be fine.

There was the sound of footsteps in the snow, and then the bench creaked softly as Barid sat on the other end, at a respectful distance from Elan. “So… Lews picked up Eval - you remember Eval, right? - anyway, they went to harass Mierin and Joar and some others. There’s plenty of wine, but I promised to bring some more. And you. I mean, I won’t try to drag you there by force if you don’t want to. But I promised I’d find you.” A slightly awkward pause. “And… ah, bloody ashes, Elan, I’m not going to leave you here. Whether you’re coming to the party at Lews’ or not. Light, you must be freezing.”

Elan chuckled - or that was the intention, but the sound came out more like a strangled sob. He wondered briefly how long it would have to snow for the snow to bury him completely. Probably longer than Barid would be willing to wait before deciding to use force after all. “Okay,” he breathed, still without looking at the younger boy.

Silence fell for a while, during which time Elan tried to gather his wits enough to be able to face the walk back to the campus. Then Barid spoke again. “Ah, would it be weird if I hugged you?”

For a moment Elan wasn’t sure he’d heard right, but then the almost embarrassed hesitation in Barid’s voice registered and he had to conclude that yes, he had indeed heard correctly. “I… don’t know,” he replied eventually. “You’re asking me about weird? Barid, since when am I an authority on what’s socially acceptable?” He could hear the wild edge in his own voice, knew he was still teetering on the edge of a full-blown meltdown. He closed his eyes and scooped up a lump of snow and pressed it to his forehead; the coldness of it felt good, marginally soothing.

Then the bench creaked again as Barid shifted closer and put his arms around Elan. It was not really even a hug at first; it was almost as if Barid was afraid of breaking something. But then, as Elan let himself relax and leaned into the embrace, Barid’s arms tightened around him and held him close. The sudden feeling of safety melted away the remnants of the irrational panic that had gripped him earlier and broke the dam, releasing the tears Elan hadn’t even realised he had been holding back. He didn’t have the energy to care, beyond a less than half-hearted wish that it was actually possible to die from embarrassment. Barid, to his credit, didn’t make a fuss over it, just held him until the tears dried, and then some more.

Elan couldn’t remember the last time he’d been held like that, with no strings attached. It was… nice.

But rationally thinking, no matter how he might want to, he knew they couldn’t stay there for much longer. The night was getting colder. And Lews was still waiting, for Barid and the wine at least. It took all his willpower to speak up and say, “We should probably go.”

“Yeah,” Barid replied. “We should.”

The sense of loss as he moved away from Barid’s embrace nearly took his breath away, but he stood up anyway and looked at Barid. “And, well, I’m sorry about—”

“No need,” Barid replied with a dismissive gesture, and started walking out of the park.

“Okay.” Elan hurried after his friend. “Well. Thanks, then. I guess.”

Barid gave him a wry smile. “That one I’ll accept. I guess.”


End file.
